We’ve all been there – putting off tasks, avoiding deadlines, and falling into the trap of procrastination.
But have you ever stopped to ask WHY you’re avoiding that task?
I used to procrastinate almost every day.
At that moment when I decided to put off the tasks and to avoid the unpleased moments, I felt good and relieved.
But, of course, that was only a temporary feeling. Everything I had been procrastinating didn’t disappear.
It was still there, waiting for me to face it.
I did face some things because I had to at the end, but many of them never even started.
For that, I felt disappointed and had a guilty conscience.
I was trapped in my procrastinating cycle and that was exhausting.
Fortunately, I changed that by starting meaningful work on myself.
By starting to build a self-relationship.
When you have a healthy self-relationship, you’re more likely to recognize what’s behind your procrastination.
It’s not just about laziness or poor time management—often, there are deeper motivations at play.
Maybe it’s fear of failure, perfectionism, or simply feeling overwhelmed.
I used to avoid:
– having a must-have conversation with my ex-wife
(why? – I was uncomfortable with facing emotions, having a deeper conversation, and being vulnerable)
– contacting the prospects for my business
(why? – I was afraid of rejection, I also felt incompetent to speak to them)
– calling a service technician if something broke in the house
(why? – I was worried about the costs)
– booking the vacation
(why? – I didn`t want to pay so much for it, so I waited for the decision until we argued with my ex-wife or I just ignored it so she took care of it)
Most of the time I felt bad about it and was angry with myself for being the way I was.
But I know how that by understanding the root causes, you can approach procrastination with self-compassion rather than guilt.
Instead of criticizing yourself for not getting things done, you can explore why you’re resisting and create strategies to move forward without self-judgment.
A strong self-relationship empowers you to:
- Understand your underlying motivations
- Recognize why you avoid certain tasks
- Push through resistance with kindness, not guilt
So next time you catch yourself procrastinating, pause and ask, “What’s really going on here?”
The answer may reveal more about your self-relationship than you think.
REMEMBER – the quality of your self-relationship determines the quality of your life